A frugal birthday gift idea for men of the cloth

The inflatable love-making Jesus!

Blasphemy (The Victimless Crime) by NOFX

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I’ll throw a pie in the face of piety
I’ll torch a Torah right off a bridge
I am a reverend of irreverence
I’m a shill for any sacrilege
I understand that faith in a deity
Helps the masses who are having hard times
But blasphemy like prostitution
Are clearly victimless crimes
Blasphemy, blasphe-you, Jesus Christ the blackest Jew
Blasphe-you, blasphemy, poisonous pedagogy
I’m an unbeliever, I’m a heretic
I’m gonna projectile puke off a pew
I’m a trouble making immature imp
I’m gonna turn your other cheek for you
I understand we all need something to believe in
I believe I’ll never be given wings and
I’m sorry if it’s up there cuz I didn’t think
A song was gonna hurt its feelings
Blasphemy, speaking deadpan
Apparently this god has got a master plan
Now they call foul, pure heresy
But ya gotta wonder, does he have a plan B?
Horus similar to Mithra, Attis analogous to Krishna
Jesus, different name same story
All based on ancient Egyptian allegory
My position hasn’t been occulted
It can never be more overstated
My intelligence has been insulted
So my tongue lashes out in defense
Anything that is your holy or sacred
I’m gonna desecrate and use in jest
But you’ll never hear a crack about Mohammed
Cuz I don’t wanna get shot in the chest
Blasphemy, isn’t this fun
Rob a rabbi, bugger a nun
Blasphemy, want some more?
Mother Mary, the virgin whore
NOFX, "Blasphemy (The Victimless Crime)", Coaster, 2009.

Blaspheming fun for kids

Halloween Jesus Dress Up!

Happy Halloween everybody! Now you can Dress up Jesus in a variety of scary costumes just by dragging the items to him with your mouse.

Larry David made Jesus cry, some Catholics baww'ing

In the latest episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm--"The Bare Midriff"--Larry David inadvertently causes a "miracle" to occur when a droplet of his urine accidentally splashes on a painting of Jesus¹. Two Christian characters mistake Larry's urine droplet on the painting for a miraculous weeping Jesus. One of the Christian characters quits her job and plans to take the weeping Jesus painting on tour.

This "attack on Jesus" is causing some Christians to curb their enthusiasm for Larry David. Piss on them.

Andres Serrano, "Piss Christ", 1987.

_{1. Dana Ellyn, "Jesus Gets His Nails Done (at the mall)", 2009.}

Follow Jesus like Nazis followed Hitler

I am now as before a Catholic and will always remain so.
Adolf Hitler, to General Gerhard Engel, 1941.

Christian Death, Love and Hate, 1989.

The Blessed Virgin Mary: Her privileges and relation to Christfuck

Photo by j-No, available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 Generic.

Religion as a drug: The injection of false comfort

Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.
Karl Marx, Introduction to Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right, 1844.

Christian Death, Sex and Drugs and Jesus Christ, 1988.
Christian Death album art depicting Jesus shooting up heroin.

The Simpsons arouses thin-skinned Catholic ire

"Treehouse of Horror XX" is the fourth episode of The Simpsons' twenty-first season. The episode aired on October 18, 2009. In the segment titled "Don't Have a Cow, Mankind," Bart is worshipped as the "chosen one" and people believe that cannibalizing Bart will save them from a virus.

Soldier: "Welcome, son. To survive, all we must do is eat your flesh."

Marge Simpson: "Hold it right there, Bub! What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior?"

Reverend Lovejoy: [Groans nervously]

Catholic League president Bill Donohue issued a press release responding to the segment as follows:

What kind of uncivilized people work at Fox? Last year, when they poked some gentle fun at the Apostle's Creed on the Halloween episode, we said nothing. That's because it didn't cross the line. This year is different: mocking the heart of any religion always crosses the line, and mocking the Eucharist does it for Catholics. They know this at Fox, which is precisely why they did it.
Bill Donohue, "THE SIMPSONS" CROSSES THE LINE

. . . there's nothing wrong with mocking the "heart of any religion," and Holy Communion is perfectly fair game. Let Catholics defend the practice of eating Jesus. The rest of us can call it what it is: absurd.
Hermant Mehta, The Simpsons vs. Bill Donohue

Silly superstitions will always be a magnet for mockery.
PZ Myers, Piling on Bill Donohue again

Christians mad at accurate depictions of Bible porn

From The Book of Genesis Illustrated by R. Crumb

The Daily Mail reports some Christians are unhappy at an illustrated book that accurately depicts the tales of rape and incest in the Bible.

He [the author] has said he does not believe that the Bible is the word of God. "I take it all for myth from start to finish, with probably some faint relation to historical reality." he said.

The response from the Christian Institute:

If you are going to publish your own version of the Bible it must be done with a great deal of sensitivity [sensitivity, sensitivity, sensitivity]. The Bible is a very important text to many many people and should be treated with the respect it deserves.

Photo by Flea Snobbery, available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike license.

The idea of millions of people taking this so seriously is totally nuts [ . . . ]. The Bible doesn't need to be satirised. It's already so crazy.R. Crumb, US cartoonist Crumb zaps the Bible

Jesus cock-sucking Christ

The Daily Mail reports the Delaware Catholic diocese files for bankruptcy in order to try and delay child abuse charges.

The diocese - which covers the state of Delaware and the Eastern Shore of Maryland - was accused of 'a desperate effort to hide the truth', with more than 100 claimants facing an indefinite delay to their sex abuse lawsuits. The bankruptcy filing automatically delays the case in Kent County Superior Court, the first of eight consecutive abuse trials scheduled in Delaware.

The most accurate logo of all time: 1973 logo of the Catholic Church's Archdiocesan Youth Commission.

Dial B for blasphemy

anyone who blasphemes the name of the LORD must be put to death. The entire assembly must stone him. Whether an alien or native-born, when he blasphemes the Name, he must be put to death.
Leviticus 24:16 (NIV)

Crybaby Yahweh

The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.
Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion, 2006.

The Catholic Church, the necessary means of salvation

Driven by simple curiosity, I did some investiagative reporting and found out some surprising things about the Catholic Church.
Louis CK

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